Fate vs. Choice

"Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie, which we ascribe to heaven."  ~Shakespeare

 

Never make the mistake of thinking fate is stronger than choice.  Choice favors the courageous, the prepared, and the powerful.  Power derives not from physical force alone, but from knowledge as well.  There is no divine plan for you that God intended to create himself.  Those humble enough to serve without challenging the established order are the ones doomed to fate's castration, for if you serve a cause which you do not fully understand, you have lost your sense of individuality.  One would hesitate to call you an individual instead of a clone.

This is why the devout often struggle with ingenuity, soldiers march into death without even blinking, and consumers buy everything that tickles their fancy.  They serve the church, the state, and big business, respectively.  Without these juggernauts of influence, the world as we know it would cease to exist.  But they wouldn't exist in the first place if people didn't feel powerless to face them, or if they respected themselves as individuals more than their doctrines teach.  None of these social institutions can take that most important of rights away from you.  They try as hard as they can, with their spiritual threats, guilt syndromes and manipulative advertisements, which you must defend yourself against with every stubborn ounce of your mind.  

Most often, you will be the only one who can fix your situation, so don't blame anyone for your problems, especially God, who I imagine gets tired of all the complaining going on when people pray.  Don't rile up the state either; that will only get you shot.  Boycotting is senseless; it seldom works.  A call for action is only in order when your back is shoved against the wall so hard that there is no other choice.  Just be your lovely heartbroken self, and people will be inspired by your strength.  Maybe you'll be able to lift the weak ones out of the muck with all that charisma in your defiance.  You'll have disciples of your own, disciples of the true liberty others only pretend to preach.

The Stalemate in American Politics

Americans need to stop blaming their personal problems on the political establishment.  The reason we haven't progressed as a country in the last 40 years has nothing to do with political decisions, but with the fact that the power between our two parties has shifted after every election.  The ruling party has gone back and forth between Republican and Democrat for at least since I've been born (1984).   Same with congress- one party holds the majority for 4-8 years, often in the beginning of a president's 8-year term, before succumbing to a mid-term shift in public opinion.  The lasting impact of these shifts are that new policies aren't established long enough for them to sink in with the public.  

It suggests to me that if people are in trouble, whether it be financially, socially, medically, or even spiritually, they tend to blame the establishment rather than a lifestyle which lead to their problem.  The problem may have never occurred in the first place if a certain choice hadn't been made.  Of course, a bad choice can and should have the chance to be mollified by the policies of our acting government.  But the idea of hanging all our problems on the party in office, listening to the opposing party's rhetoric as saving the day and voting them into office, only to reverse the policies, laws, and agendas of the predecessor, only means that we will get nowhere if the balance of power keeps shifting like this.  Judging by this perspective, the last 40 years have been a major success for the conservative party, because most countries in the world have progressed while we have maintained our course, perhaps even regressed with the current administration's policies. 

The voters must also not take for granted a party's seeming majority in any given election.  The assumption that a candidate or party will win, as evidenced by the last election, can have a severe impact on the results if a great many people are doing it.  The radical right, feeling every ounce of purpose, utilizing every amount of voting power they could muster, were successful in defeating an overly confident majority who frankly couldn't stand their candidate.  Remember, many Republicans found the current president intolerable during the primary elections.  Then for whatever reason- likely out of some defeatist loyalty to their party- they embraced him as their leader like he was the Second Coming.  Better than Hillary, they said.  The Democrats created all their problems, they said.   

Don't blame all your problems on the government, or you will end up with one that only creates more. 

 

Wonder

    Never outgrow your sense of wonder.  Wonder will inspire you to explore all the rich things that life can give you, keeping you modest in the process.  As you get older, you will want to think you know things, and because you already know things it will dampen your interest in unfamiliar ideas and subjects.  Instead, try to retain the innocence that claimed you when you were born, so you can remember the old things and still be open to learning new things.  Never laugh at those who keep their toys, or who become easily amused, no matter how old they are.  You will find that the young and the elderly have the same needs, and dream of the same stuff.  We all devolve to the state of youth after life has come full circle.  That lifelong quest for knowledge will have meant nothing unless you find a way to apply it well. 

Woodinville Revisited, Leavenworth

My love for him was greater than my fear.  

I have been thinking a great deal about the time I lived at the Maltby house, from 1990-1995.  This was partially brought about by being hired by Printwest, which borders the suburb in the north of Woodinville.  Sometimes on the way to work, depending on which route I take, I follow the same path my bus did on the way to school.  For a sweet instant I am young again, going to a place I enjoyed being, a place where I fit in well and friends were easy to make.  

This weekend I took my wife to Leavenworth.  The old house was on the way, so I thought we might drive by it and have a look.  It's exactly as I remember it; everything was so familiar that I nearly cried.  All the houses were the same shapes and sizes, the lawns trimmed to perfection, the smell of fresh soil swimming through the air.  All that was different was the color of our old house, painted brown now instead of white.  

A curious reflection in all this is how I could feel so nostalgic for a place in which so much fear and hurt was felt.  The reason is simple: my love for the man who wronged me was greater than my fear.  Memories of love, in which he played catch with me and taught me to shoot baskets, are stronger than the ones of that inferior emotion.  After years of letting the bad memories control my feelings, the good ones have suddenly resurfaced.  All this time they lay dormant under the ash that fell after he abandoned me.    

Most of the memories aren't even about him, but about all the others I spent good time with.  Those are the ones I cherish most.  His wrath had fogged all those memories I had living in Maltby.  For years I would look back feeling sorry for myself about being emotionally abused by him.  Now I look back regretting there was a divorce and that we moved away.  Because before all that baggage got dumped, I remember him loving me, and me loving him. 

Self-Actualization

I'm nearly there, the summit is in sight. 
The bonds of the world are releasing their grip. 
I've stepped out of the mold and into the flux, 
Catatonic despair thawed by a rediscovery of youth. 
Let the journey continue, let the path be easier, 
Chisel these obstacles with a calculated strength, 
Refined by the adjustments delayed, in no hurry 
To reach the promised peak. 
 
Shed these few remaining layers of insecurities, 
Phobias shelled by the illusions of comfort, ambitions hardened 
By years of effort, the compromise made when sacrificing 
Self-preservation for the convenience of others. 
 
I am less concerned with their thoughts, but still care. 
I am less motivated by perfection, but still strive. 
I am less introverted, but still draw isolation. 
I am less incensed by the passions, but still burn with control. 
I am less me, more you, less us, more them, 
Less individual, more universal.