When I Saved Your Life

Love was always there, hiding in the walls, 
Trapped in the closets, curled up in the clothes tossed 
About your adolescent room.  You've forgotten 
The days when we played together, all the time, 
Just you and me. You had someone to look up to 
Back then, but not anymore; now life has molded 
You into something strong and dangerous, 
That doesn't look back, doesn't compromise, 
Fails to see the good in me.  It all reminds me  
Of what Joni Mitchell sang about paradise, 
How childhood can be a double-edged sword, 
So cherishable yet vulnerable to mistakes. 
I wish I could have foreseen where the future  
Would lead us; you and me, one in the same, 
Like we always were- two lost otters, drifting 
Apart from each other yet wanting to stay close. 
 
Sometimes when you wake up in the morning 
You can still hear me laughing, pretending 
To be some movie star, faded out through 
The solitude of a campground in the mountains, 
As I can still see you smiling in that Orioles t-shirt,  

Back when your health was good, 
Your bones were aglow and you wanted 
To follow me more than you wanted to lead. 
Once upon a time, the ocean took you 
Off your feet, toppled you off your sturdy feet, 

Plunged you into the sand, dared to drag you 

With her out into the silent waters; 
But I was with you, and I lifted you up, 
Out of the water and into the light 
Where you belong, once upon a time, 
When we were still brothers, 
When I saved your life. 

Black Friday

It always feels extra quiet when the baby sleeps, as if the quiet we'd normally have were a noisier state.  Our first Thanksgiving in our new home was a success; everything was cooked to standard (at least by ours- admittedly low).  All that food in our stomachs must be sedating our senses, for it is a rare quiet that greets us this morning.  And there is nothing going on outside.  Everyone's at home for their post-holiday slumber, or out at the shopping malls where a very different atmosphere exists.  

I'll never understand why it's so important to get deals on Black Friday that people would run over one another, jostle, fight, charge, and do all sorts of other savage things, just to save a few bucks.  Innocent people have gotten trampled over, some have even died only for that special television sale, or the newest phone accessory from Apple.  You won't find this peculiar Black Friday hysteria anywhere else in the world, not to my knowledge anyway.  This is yet another symptom of our collective madness in America, one of the myriad formations of unhinged desires and fantasies infecting our culture.     

On a crazy day like this we'll just stay home, like the other 90% of our society that doesn't feel like getting shot over a busted deal, letting the vicious 10% gouge each other's eyes out for their prizes in our temples of merchandise.  The shopping malls devour all the energy that commerce normally cooks up on a Friday morning.  No, I'll just kick back and let it happen, read my books, maybe put up the Christmas tree later on. 

A New Life

There's a newborn sleeping quietly next to me.  He's the greatest thing I've ever created; better than all my writings combined.  As luck would have it, he seems to be as quiet as his mother, only fussing when he really needs something.  I have a good, strong, healthy son, and nothing in the world gives me greater pleasure, or sense of purpose.  

The night of my wife's labor was one of the scariest in our lives.  Her difficult labor served as an emotional catalyst for the end result, a priming of the senses for an ultimate release; that glorious emotion that only a parent can know- the redemption of success after an agonizing tribulation, when the clutches of despair shortens one's breath.  To see your whole family alive after worrying they were about to die is the most terrifyingly joyous emotion imaginable.  It's no joke that I wept tears of profound joy in my mother's arms after my wife finally pushed that baby out.  She was literally on her last breath when it happened, crying out for a C-section as a group of doctors hovered over her.  One more failed contraction would have put both their lives in serious jeopardy.  

The baby grunts, waves his arms and feet, seems to dream a lot, opens his mouth like it were an involuntary valve of inhalation.  He will suck on anything his mouth comes close to, in imitation of a soured tongue perpetually aggravated.  This must be why Freud was so fixated on the oral stages of newborn growth; he surely must have been around quite a few babies in order to analyze what must be going on inside their heads.  

To me it's less of a mystery.  All the experimental movement and noise he's making is simply his body acclimatizing to being outside a womb.  It must have been terribly traumatizing for him to be induced out of a place he'd felt so comfortable in.  Now the challenge is in keeping him warm and comfortable enough to embrace this enormous transition he is making.  And the ones we are making as well.  Each day will get easier as we learn the tricks of parenting, we hope. 

Mr. Robbins

Hello Mr. Robbins, how are you this evening? 
It's always nice to see you, in your old hat and weathered shoes. 
Another busy Saturday's night ahead of me, 
But how do you like your room? 
Is everything made the way you like it? 
Yes indeed, it's too bad we have no smoking benches outside. 
I'll inform management on Monday that you think we should. 
Here, let me wipe that off your face. 
Do watch out for the desk, we have 
A business to run here, and appearances are important. 
No, the owner is not a Russian spy 
And the guests next door haven't seen your toy cars. 
Have you taken your medicine, Mr. Robbins? 
You look a little pale. 
Let me get you a glass of water. 
How about you come along with me 
To lock up the hotel, make sure everything is safe, 
Like you used to do on your "security checks" 
When I first started working here. 
Oh yes, the night is young. 
I think I heard a party going on 
Down that hallway, ugh! 
Nobody understands, you aren't supposed to 
Party late at night in a hotel. 
You saw a shady man, passed out in the lounge? 
Dear me, I'll have to wake him. 
We can't be having his kind staying here. 
Thank you, Mr. Robbins, all is safe and sound. 
Do come see me in the morning 
Before I leave for home at sunrise. 
What's that, you'll come back down in an hour? 
Oh good, you'll be fit to keep me company 
For a good portion of my busy night. 
Bless you, Mr. Robbins.