Ethereal Odyssey

My skin's fading from your eyes, 

Gone, lost, blown away by the wind, 

Faraway, into unknown lands, 
Scattered visions on the desert vista, 

A door left open, a negotiated wisdom, 

Driven by regret, fear, the possibilities, 

Oh, why I ran from a fallen angel, 

Terrified of what I'd have adored. 

My memories are raining down, 

Falling through the canyons 

To the fault-line of schizophrenia, 

Where living without you ties 

A noose around my neck,   
Overcome by the ghost within, 
Scanning the distance, ears searching 
For silent whispers in the grass, 

Eyes set upon a horizon of lamentation. 

Gasping for breath, mercy granted, 

I rise from the swamp, covered in sorrow, 

Drained of energy, falling backwards 

On a beach of glass, hypnotized, 

Thoughts of you drifting in and out 

Like the tide pushing and pulling, 

Hearing your voice from the shadows, 

The illusion of desire floating away 

On waves that sank your sunny skin. 

 

Caribbean Dream

    Avast, Mr. Sparrow!  A pirate's life, indeed.  I took my pain and ran with it, all the way through that dark life I lead.  They came while watching Pirates of the Caribbean, those scenes from a memory.  Those pure, dark, adventurous eyes.  I’ll never forget them stealing my soul as he looked back over his shoulder.  They were the eyes of Pluto eclipsing the sun from Chiron.  He smiled, mocking any sense of danger I felt, abandoning all sense of fear- welcoming death, insanity, and the jolt of his awakening.  He laughed in the face of fear.  Losing uncertainty.  Such a strong, bold, witty man.  Avast!  Any last words fore ye walk the plank?  He possessed something well beyond rage.  The fire that burned inside his heart, the fire that had replicated itself through night after night of loneliness, had consumed his sense of purpose.  He longed for the danger.  Oh, the unforgettable fire under the waning, wilting sun!  This was not a blind rage.  This was a superior ability to let that which does not matter become erased by his will.  This was a very dangerous man, with nothing to lose.  A pirate indeed.  I will always remember those eyes, and I shall take them with me to my grave.
    Spanish fleet a comin'!  Start fast!  Secure the masts, haul the riggins!  It's those faraway lands I long for most.  Lost in the West Indian labyrinth of ships and islands, with nothing but my vessel and a broken compass to guide me.  Say lad, drop me a q'art o' rum there!  The lunacy, the fire, the freedom.  Alas Barbarossa, we meet again.  I've longed for the opportunity to shave your head with this- me steady cutlass.  Arrr.... En guarde, ye bloody sea-goblin!  O'er the ship and into the deep, ye best lay! 
    And then she came, and the light shown down on those dark eyes with a sudden lift.  At that moment I understood the power of instant love.  When two pairs of eyes meet each other for the first time, at the same moment, and without any sense of knowing the person before-hand.  Or had I known her all along, in lives before this one?  It was a look of desperation she gave me.  The knife in my heart was given a thrust, penetrating deeper into the the crib of my spirit.  I became the torrent, the rage, the fire, and forced myself into her arms by killing every single cully aboard the blasted ship that held her in chains.  Then I sailed us to an isolated island that also must have been lost in this labyrinth underneath the sun.  What have ye, my love?  What is it ye hold that makes me so... so light?  And there we made love under a hanging palm tree, with the smell of pine and sea waste embalming us... and the resin!  The rum!  The woman!  She smelled of a thousand blossoming rhododendrons waiting to be caressed.  How could I, such a vile insolent, be subject to this... This Goddess that could not have possibly come from this world?  And so our love was born.  The orgasmic sensations of our bodies intertwining took the pain from my heart and flooded my entire body with it.  It became an agent of healing, this love, this former thorn in my spine.  And through all the bewilderment, hostility and euphoria, I saw in her the eyes of myself, a reflection of my desire to run wildly away from this circus of a world, with its hasty judgements and high standards.  So we sailed the world, never to look back on the lives we once led, lives that had made us feel dead inside. 
    Death, I embrace thee, sacrament of pleasure and pain.  Kiss me goodnight, fair love.

Holly

Max asked me to help him move some boxes from out of the attic the other day.  I really didn't feel like breaking a sweat in that dump, but what are friends for? 

I was up in the attic handing him the boxes when his sister Holly climbed the ladder saying, "Hi".  She was wearing a silver dress and had a blue band in her hair.  We did some small talk while I moved the boxes.  It sure was nice that she decided to keep me company while I labored for her family.  But then, out of the blue, she asked me if I was a virgin. 

"What?", I said. 

"You know, are you a virgin?" 

She said it in the most straight-forward way a 12-year-old can.  I mumbled and stumbled a bit before asking, "Do you even know what a virgin is?" 

She laughed and said, "Of course, silly." 

"Yes, yes, I'm a... virgin."  Words had never struggled so hard to escape my mouth.  Holly didn't look surprised.  She just smiled and said, "Awww." 

"Why are you asking me this?" 

"No reason." 

"I don't suppose you're a virgin too?" 

"Ummm..." 

I looked at her mystified.  Then she burst out laughing.  My face turned red. 

"Of course, I am!  Did you forget my age?" 

She crept over to me on her knees and helped me move a box.  The next time Max came up, he asked what she was doing up there.  She said nothing, as innocently as possible. 

The next time he went away, she pulled my arm and bit my hand. 

"Ow!" I cried.  "What's gotten into you?  Are you always this rude?" 

Her legs were spread out on the floor, revealing just a bit too much skin for my liking.  I looked away. 

"Don't you want to play with me?", she asked, pouting her lips. 

The sound of her father's voice saved the day. 

"I better go now.  Bye Stu-boy," she said, blowing me a kiss. 

She was just about to descend the ladder when an alarming thing happened.  The Earth shook so hard that the attic collapsed!  We fell for what seemed like an eternity, but really lasted a few seconds. 

I landed hard, confused, oblivious to what had happened.  Moments later, after finding myself uninjured through the smoky air, I gathered we'd just had a tremendous earthquake, probably an 8 pointer. 

Through the dust I asked Holly if she was ok.  She coughed, saying she was fine.  

After it settled, I looked around.  She was bleeding from her knee, but she looked to be moving fine.  Luckily, only a corner of the roof had collapsed, instead of the whole thing.  Unluckily, it had fallen right on top of our only escape route. 

The natural thing to worry about was my own family, but I found myself worrying about Holly's family too.  My friend Max, his mother and father.  I couldn't hear their voices.  Had they all died? 

"I don't hear anyone", Holly said. 

"Don't worry.  Maybe they ran out," I said. 

"I'm scared," Holly said, through her tears.  "What if they're... They're..." 

"Listen to me," I interrupted.  "We've got to get out of here before something else happens.  Help me dig." 

Holly watched me as I frantically tried to move all the debris away. 

"It's no use, Stu." 

"Yeah, the whole thing's jammed.  Fuck!" 

"Stu?" 

"What is it?" 

"Come hold me." 

Normally I wouldn't, especially after her strange behavior.  But I was scared too, and Holly was all I had.  Delightfully I obeyed. 

I brought her close to me.  She smelled of cheap hairspray and crayons.  Through our tears and sweat we silently prayed that someone would excavate us from our entrapment.  Perhaps the thing we had to worry about most, was that it was damn hot in here. 

"It's too hot and we have no water.  We shouldn't do this for too long," I pointed out. 

"But I need you", she said, not letting go. 

"Let go, Holly." 

"Stuey..." 

"Let go." 

I had to wiggle my way out of her fierce grasp.  In the process I'd hurt her hand. 

"Sorry", I said. 

We didn't speak for hours.  Nobody came to rescue us.  Slowly it dawned on us that Holly's family must have died in the collapse, and that most of our neighbors probably had as well. 

The sun was setting, and the heat died down.  I was getting hungry, and Holly was too. 

"What if we have to eat each other?", said Holly, the most awkward thing possible to say under such circumstances. 

"Funny." 

"Seriously... Don't you know about the Donner Party?" 

"No." 

"They were moving to California, in the old west.  They got stuck in the mountains and had to spend a whole winter there.  The only food they had was each other." 

"Ugh!  We aren't going to be here that long.  It won't happen to us." 

"Before you eat me, you should know that I have rabies." 

"I'm not going to eat you, Holly." 

Then the ground shook again, and Holly scrambled into my arms.  I held her tight, like I had before.  This time, the shaking was less severe. 

"Just an aftershock," I affirmed. 

"I don't care.  I want them to go away." 

We held each other again for a few minutes.  Suddenly I felt her moving on my stomach. 

"What are you doing?", I asked in the darkness. 

"Shhh,", she said. 

Her hand moved lower to my belt.  I didn't resist. 

"Do you want to die a virgin?", she asked, still whispering. 

"Nobody can hear us, why are you whispering?" 

"It's better this way." 

"How do you know?  Have you ever done this?" 

"No, I just know." 

"You're a strange girl." 

I felt her hand moving through my pants now, latching onto my erection.  Then I couldn't resist.  I lost control, an animal urge took over me, I swarmed her with my lust. 

That was when we heard a search party outside.  We looked at each other, wondering if the other would stop to holler out for them.  But neither of us did, and it made us happy.