Solipsism

Sometimes I think that since truth can only be attained through subjective perceptions, I have no choice but to accept solipsism- the belief that the thoughts of one's own mind is the only truth.  No other belief system can work because knowledge can only be gained through the self.  All the facts you read about in books have been skewed by the subjective experiences of someone else, so they really have no relation to your idea of what is real.  The only thing they can do is influence your perception of it. 

Admittedly it's a dire philosophy.  Whenever I think about it, it's logic forces me to feel isolated and less trusting of others.  It also clouds the capacity for compassion.  In my experience, the belief that your thoughts are the only real ones blocks out empathy as well as input from others.  But who's to say that other people exist anyway?  Perhaps it's all in my head, that I've imagined this foul world of suffering, greed, and corruption.  In that regard, solipsism would make a lot more sense.  How could people treat each other in all these awful ways if it weren't all just a figment of my imagination? 

Ultimately, since there's no way to prove that other minds don't exist separately from my own, I can't really accept solipsism as the truth.  Besides, if my own mind exists, then why can't others?  If someone else disagrees with what I know, who's to say who is correct?  Who judges what the ultimate truth really is?  Is there any way to prove anything outside the scope of subjective experience?  And if not, does knowledge even exist? 

Instead of providing answers, solipsism only raises more questions.  All this uncertainty has boxed me into believing in nothing.  My conclusion is that you create your own reality, and nobody can change that, except you.  You are your own God.  If you decide to let someone push you around or make love to you or convince you that something is right, then you've decided to imagine the apparent realities of that person as being true.  And this isn't even a person in the definitive sense, it's only your imaginary version of who that person is.  This is because we can never fully know all the various intangibles that go into what constitutes the psychology of a person.  No one fully knows anyone, so how can anyone possibly judge another person and deem what they say as true or false?  All you can perceive are their tendencies, but even tendencies have a way of adopting new recursions.  Then again, your perception of those recursions might reflect how your own psyche has changed and interpreted their actions.  

That is why the truth is always so difficult to fathom.  Things we once recognized as true may not be the same many years down the line.  Perhaps it's only until after we're dead that we finally learn the truth behind everything we've ever wanted to know.