Here I am, there I go, cast from the past and flung into the future. Gone from the present my body disintegrates, the mind untangling all threads of memory once framed. Muscles of sanity disembodied, particle by particle, organ by organ. Over the land I flee, from one place to the next, knowing that I belong yet not knowing where that is, wanting everything and nothing at the same time. Face eroded by the wind, feet scratched by the desert sand, wrists nailed to the anchor, balance denied by a falling sky. Seal these wounds, I beg you, help me forget. Don't say they blame me, say I was wanted, say I belonged to some community. If not, I'll just keep running, staying the course, drifting through the different scenes, searching for the right place, forgetting all the rest until I'm forgiven for being born.
Motionless in time and space the world passes by, fleeing from me as I fled from it. Suspended over the ground, in a mechanized contraption stripped of inertia I watch each moment flying past, projected out from the horizon, speeding past the vehicle in sequences of time like memories unfolding from one event to the next. Gone since yesterday, spun through today, swiveling through the next ten years trying to recapture their faces, the next ten hurling out my psyche in search of that dream, then forty, fifty, sixty years in aimless wonder only to think about you, the next hundred divorced from reason, two hundred more spent reconciling doubt, three, four, five hundred shedding my grief, the tear-stained landscape of a thousand years screaming by, computation completed by empty immortality.
There are no longer limitations, convictions, assertions. They've all broken from my spirit in particles of maturity. I've shed my name, my principles, my emotions, attempting to secure the freedom to express what is hidden. Inward I turn, so far inward that I come out the other side, embracing the harmony of all that is. Mountains, rivers, lakes, deserts, the tired eye of the sun, all revolving around this center of consciousness, Copernican only in the reciprocity of love, as it was in ancient times, before the schism declared that men must love those who don't love them. The path is endless that follows love to eternity, switching back through the stars, undulating over the ships, spiraling out to the edge of creation.
Wake up now, child. Rediscover what you lost. Breathe in the beyond, breathe out the word. Always I strive to bring you along, always I will. I will never abandon you, no matter that the others did. Illusory love comes and goes; it rises like the sun in morning, then fades with shadows in the evening, to darkness. True love cannot be broken. True love is born from patience, faith and hope, all the virtues that ignite that holy alliance of selflessness. Trust in yourself and the process, unlearn what the losses taught you, recognize how the gains help you grow. Change as rivers do, meandering through each landscape of love and loss, bound by the banks of time yet free to shift through space, through the years, through each new face plastered on your memory, 'till the steady cradle of the ocean dissolves you into dust, evaporates your soul-particles into the clouds, rains them anew on a different continent, far removed from what was once familiar. Change is inevitable, change is eternal, change is life, my child. Change is life.
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