Be wary of the talons of gratitude. People can go their whole lives being grateful for what someone did, not realizing they are enabling bad behavior. A person can save your life or bail you out and expect you to repay them by allowing them to treat you badly. When parents do this, it is especially deceptive. Once you call them out, they will be quick to point out all the positive things they've done for you, making it seem like the bad things are excusable, as a sort of guilt trip. They will use the guilt to make you a pawn in their scheme.
True gratitude is feeling appreciative of the people that gave you something without expecting anything in return. Their expectations don't trigger an imbalanced power struggle. When you don't feel the stress of constantly needing to please them, it is much easier to feel gratitude in all its purity.
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