A recent email from my father surprised me in
an unconventional way, at least by his standards. He stated that when he was young, "Girls fled from me like I had leprosy", and that my mother was
the exception. But my mom has mentioned how handsome and well-dressed he
was, like he lit up the room whenever he walked in. And I have seen pictures of
his tall, striking figure.
It's hard for me to believe he never got any attention from girls, at least from a physical standpoint. More likely it was his awkward personality or late development that turned them away, making him think he wasn't attractive. Which makes sense considering how I thought I was ugly in my teens, not getting any attention from girls until I turned 20. Nonetheless, I always thought the "handsome" genes in our branch of the family came from him.
One of my son's teachers told my wife she'd be in love with him if he was older. As he is only seven, we found this highly inappropriate, but flattering? And the other week, mom said he could be a model. I don't think my children look effeminate the way my father describes himself as a young man, but people have mentioned I have a touch of Venus. I've always been too bulky to fully pass as effeminate though, and my other son has the same physique. It sounds so strange to even describe a man as effeminate just because they're skinny and have long hair like my father had.
It's hard for me to believe he never got any attention from girls, at least from a physical standpoint. More likely it was his awkward personality or late development that turned them away, making him think he wasn't attractive. Which makes sense considering how I thought I was ugly in my teens, not getting any attention from girls until I turned 20. Nonetheless, I always thought the "handsome" genes in our branch of the family came from him.
One of my son's teachers told my wife she'd be in love with him if he was older. As he is only seven, we found this highly inappropriate, but flattering? And the other week, mom said he could be a model. I don't think my children look effeminate the way my father describes himself as a young man, but people have mentioned I have a touch of Venus. I've always been too bulky to fully pass as effeminate though, and my other son has the same physique. It sounds so strange to even describe a man as effeminate just because they're skinny and have long hair like my father had.
I think we're all just a mix of masculine and feminine
traits and we shouldn't be worried about being one gender or the other. It sort of
limits our understanding of beauty, and ourselves. Plenty of men are beautiful,
and they don't need long hair to show it. You can biologically feel like one
sex, however there will always be the Anima inside the man,
and the Animus in the woman, nudging us in unconscious
directions. That's what Jung thought anyway. Having this psychological perspective allows us to be comfortable with our bodies without wanting to change them.
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