A successful spirit will know how to transform pain into joy. It is only after surviving the darkest depths that we are able to defeat pain, pain that is often self-inflicted. Sometimes it can follow us our whole life, like a shadow, which is why some of us resort to alcohol or drugs to subdue it. Others transform it into more sinister emotions, like resentment, jealousy, or pride, substituting it for problems that are more manageable, at least temporarily. Only those who find joy to disabuse pain are dealing with it in the right manner.
A common way is joy through work of money. People distract themselves from pain by working long hours to accumulate wealth, which brings them joy to be winning at "the game". Others engage in literal competition, whether it be sports or politics. Winning to me only seems a material joy, one that does not completely subdue the pain that is plaguing them, for when a person experiences a loss, it comes crushing back at full speed. Pain for them is something they are always running from, an invisible demon that drives them to perfection. And maybe a perfect performance will also bring the attention or admiration they crave. It seems this method is not without a hint of pride.
Another common way is through the act of creation, composition, or writing. It gives me great joy to create something, and often is done to soothe a painful feeling. If you have ever written out your thoughts in a journal and felt better then you know what I am talking about. Anything troubling us can be painful, so when we write, create, or meditate on the thing, it tends to escape our spirit with each passing word. But again, it is only temporary. The pain will come back, although it may be less intense than those who have to face it again by using achievement.
A third way, which often happens by chance, is a complete projection onto something else. Say you're suffering from unrequited love; the joy of a new lover can transform the pain into new love. Or if your house burned down, you might find joy in starting over at a new location. Random new opportunities to shroud our pain with joy occur all the time.
The greatest way may be to transform the pain and enjoy by getting a pet or having children. Helping people or animals in general can make us feel better, but nothing brings permanent joy like having little ones to take care of, who are at your mercy and as loyal as anything on this planet. By having children, you may get to reinvent a painful childhood by all the joy they bring you, as you in turn create it for them. Children are the greatest antidote to pain. They light up our lives with every bleat of laughter, every adorable expression, every struggle they have when learning something new, every time they achieve something, no matter how minor; always they are transmutating our leaden hearts into gold, always they will.
Many believe joy proceeds pain, as the embodiment of innocence, the preeminent feeling of bliss before the realities of life jade people for eternity. I'm here to tell you the opposite is equally true, that pain can proceed joy, that joy can heal a broken spirit as much as pain can destroy a healthy one. The key is responding to pain in an appropriate manner, not letting it consume your life. Those who dwell on past misfortunes are destined to suffer for as long as they allow it. Say no to the pain; let that bittersweet joy flow through.
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